Top 10 Worst Films of 2017

We’ve talk about the best, now let’s dissect the worst. There were plenty of bad films in 2017–some boring, others bizarre–but these were the largest dumpster fires of them all. If you liked any of the films on this list then God bless ya, I’m glad, but I found them unbearable. Here are my Top 10 Worst Films of 2017.

*My reviews of the films can be read by clicking on the title, and you can read my list of Top 10 Best Films here.

Dishonorable Mention: Justice League

I enjoyed “Batman v Superman” and the trailers for this looked like DC had finally struck the right balance of humor, grit and fun. Turns out this was a huge, tonally deaf mess that has ruined my faith in the DCEU despite “Wonder Woman” appearing on my Top 10 list.



10. Ghost in the Shell

What a stupid film. It is so incoherent and boring and messy that even the decent visuals and ScarJo can’t save it. When the climax finished I didn’t even realize I had just watched the end of the film, the pacing was so bad; dumb from start to finish.



9. The Mummy

The first (and probably last) installment in the Dark Universe, it brings me no sorrow to see this thing crash and burn like it did. Stealing from a dozen better monster and adventure films, I lost track of the number of unintentional laughs this has.



8. The House

(Mercifully) clocking in at only 88 minutes, there was nowhere near enough material here to be made into a feature film. This was *so* much worse than Ferrell’s other 2017 film, “Daddy’s Home 2” and what’s worse is it is just boring to watch. Even bad films have some sort of watchability to them, but there is nothing worse than a boring comedy because it just becomes sad after a while.



7. Fist Fight

Another boring comedy that wastes a talented cast, this also stretches a thin premise way beyond its limits. I’d sooner rather take a fist to the face from Mike Tyson than watch this again.



6. Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

I loved the book series as a kid but dammit is this film boring and lazily animated (it only cost $38 million to make, compared to the likes of “Coco” which cost around $175 million). Some people praised this and found it enjoyable but not me; there was only room for one animated hero wearing undergarments this year and his name is Boss Baby.



5. The Snowman

More like “The Slowman,” amiright? A suspense thriller without the suspense or thrills, this beautiful-looking disaster also lacks setup, suspects, coherency, character development, a payoff….



4. The Emoji Movie

This is corporate filmmaking at its finest (read: worst). What do kids like? Original films with humor, heart and a message? No, texting and outdated product placement! The only compliment I can give this film is it at least *knows* it is terrible and complacent but that’s no defense.



3. Transformers: The Last Knight

How the actual hell do these films keep getting worse?



2. The Circle

A baffling waste of talent, quite literally nothing happens in this film’s 110 minute runtime. It’s unequivocally the worst–and one of only a few bad–film of Tom Hanks’ career. Once I realized what sort of trash I was watching I was able to make jokes at the film but I had never had such a chore of a film to sit through in a long while.



And it would’ve been the most dreadful time of 2017 if not for…

1. How to Be a Latin Lover

This was sooooo boring, oh my god. I was in physical, anxious, uncomfortable pain sitting in my recliner chair watching this “film”. This type of product is what makes people quit the film industry and give up on movies. It is one big offensive middle finger to intelligent audiences and is by far, hands-down, without a shadow of a doubt the worst film of 2017.



Hopefully you did not suffer through any these films like I did, but here’s to a more merciful 2018!

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