Studios really need to stop trying to capture the “21 Jump Street” lightning in a bottle… “Baywatch” is the R-rated big screen adaptation of the 1990s television series. Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron and Alexandra Daddario star as members of a Florida lifeguard team that find drugs on their beach and take it upon themselves to… Continue reading ‘Baywatch’ Drowns in a Sea of Unfunny
Ridley Scott is 79 years old and still competently directing major Hollywood movies and meanwhile I’m 23 and can barely make toast without burning it… “Alien: Covenant” is the 6th canon film of the “Alien” franchise and acts as a sequel to 2012’s “Prometheus,” as well as the second of an intended three prequel films… Continue reading ‘Alien: Covenant’ a Gory, Somewhat Sluggish Adventure
It’s kind of funny this film comes out the same weekend as a (very bad) Guy Ritchie film, and he directed another movie called “Snatch…” “Snatched” marks Amy Schumer’s second starring role on the big screen and features Goldie Hawn’s return to movies for the first time since 2002. The duo star as a mother… Continue reading ‘Snatched’ Is Just Funny Enough To Work
What the heck just happened? “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword” stars Charlie Hunnam as the titular character, and follows his origin story of finding the sword Excalibur and stopping the warlord who killed his father. Jude Law, Djimon Hounsou and Eric Bana also star as Guy Ritchie directs. I don’t mind Guy Ritchie films.… Continue reading More Like ‘King Arthur: Legend of the Snore’
And I thought “The Circle” was a boring mess about nothing… “How to Be a Latin Lover” stars Eugenio Derbez as a man who has spent his whole life married to a rich old woman. When she finally kicks him out, he must move in with his sister (Salma Hayek) and find a new sugar… Continue reading ‘How to Be a Latin Lover’ Shows How Not to Make a Comedy
This may be the first ever movie where literally nothing happens. “The Circle” stars Emma Watson as a young women who joins a tech company that wants to put cameras everywhere in the world. I really wish I could give more of a plot summary than that, but as I said above: this movie isn’t… Continue reading ‘The Circle’ Lacks Dimensions
Someone needs to start a petition to make studios put subtitles on the screen every time Vin Diesel speaks, I can only make out every fifth word that man says… “The Fate of the Furious” is the eighth installment in the “Fast and Furious” franchise (take a moment to let the fact we’re eight films… Continue reading ‘Fate of the Furious’ is Loud, Dumb and Only Occasionally Fun
In almost every way, shape and form, this is a sequel to Scarlett Johansson’s 2014 film, “Lucy.” “Ghost in the Shell” is based on the Japanese manga of the same name and takes place in a future where the line between humans and robots is becoming blurred. After a vehicle crash victim’s brain is placed… Continue reading ‘Ghost in the Shell’ an Empty, Convoluted Snooze
The same weekend that “CHIPS” shows us exactly how not to remake an old TV show into a modern movie, this one gets it pretty right. “Power Rangers” is a reboot of the famed 90s series of the same name, and features the colorful superhero team discovering their powers and teaming up to take on… Continue reading ‘Power Rangers’ is Pretty Stupid, but it’s also Pretty Fun
Not every television-to-film reboot can be a “Jump Street…” “CHIPS” is based on the TV series that ran from 1977 to 1983 and just like the show follows the adventures of two California Highway Patrol officers (Dax Shepard and Michael Peña). After a series of armored truck robberies, the duo must find out who on… Continue reading ‘CHIPS’ a Mostly Unfunny, Mean-Spirited Reboot
The Reel Deal 