Not even sure where to begin with this one…

“Megalopolis” is the first directorial effort from Francis Ford Coppola since 2011’s “Twixt,” funded by $120 million of his own money. Set in a fantastical modern United States, the plot follows a visionary architect (Adam Driver) as he clashes with the corrupt mayor (Giancarlo Esposito) about how to plan for the future of the city. The rest of the ensemble cast includes Nathalie Emmanuel, Aubrey Plaza, Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight, Laurence Fishburne, Jason Schwartzman, Kathryn Hunter, and Dustin Hoffman.

“Megalopolis” has been a dream project for Francis Ford Coppola since the late-70s, often entering pre-production before falling through. After selling parts of his winery empire to personally fund the project in 2021, Coppola finally was able to make the movie of his dreams and the results are… pretty much what you’d expect the lingering passion project of an 85-year-old, five-time Academy Award winner to be like (and I mean that mostly as compliment).

I think my opinion on Francis Ford Coppola is the one held by most people, in that his work in the 1970s (namely the “Godfather” duology and “Apocalypse Now”) is incredible and monumental, and the rest of his career is… solid (“Tucker,” “The Outsiders,” and “Bram Stroker’s Dracula” are all effective dramas). But I am one of those people who loves being able to experience works from Hollywood legends on the big screen while we still can (Warren Beatty in “Rules Don’t Apply,” Scorsese and De Niro with “Irishman”), so I was always going be seated for “Megalopolis.” And part of its aimless yet overstuffed nature is what’s endearing about the project. The modern studio system (which ironically Coppola played a part in forming thanks to his work with Robert Evans on “The Godfather”) would simply never invest $120 million in an R-rated sci-fi fantasy, so that Coppola finally managed to put it to screen is a miracle within itself. You can tell that he is throwing a lot of spaghetti against the wall and not all of it is sticking, but through and through the vibes and vision are consistent, and that is the sign of a seasoned director.

Adam Driver is one of our better actors, and has had the opportunities to work with legendary directors like Coppola, Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and Clint Eastwood. I’m not exactly sure what to make of his performance here as an architect who can control time, but I do know that he made me laugh at several points and managed to rock a Caesar haircut and not have it look like the goofiest thing ever.

Much of the cast seems to be acting in different movies, but again I kind of admire the film for that. Aubrey Plaza is in a rom-com, Jon Voight is chewing scenery, and Shia LaBeouf (who actually turns in a solid performance) is harnessing the energy of a deranged and mischievous Roman emperor. Jason Schwartzman (Coppola’s nephew) and Dustin Hoffman both show up at random throughout the film and are wonderfully awkward, I liked whatever it was they were doing.

At times the film looks like the $120 million product it is, with lavish sets and engaging production design, including “Babylon”-esque party sequences. But at other points the effects can look like a PS3 cutscene, or draw away from the scene. Sometimes that feels like the point, almost a “Sin City” style of comic book-y backdrops and shadows, but sometimes you can feel the SFX team begging for more time and money to complete the shot.

“Megalopolis” is a film that really can’t be properly reviewed or summarized. I think for 2:18 it moves by smoothly enough (the fact this isn’t three hours is kind of insane, I’m sure we’ll get #TheFrancisCut in a few years), and seeing many actors I either love (Driver, Plaza) or rarely get to see anymore (Hoffman, LaBeouf) is a plus. But anyone checking this movie out has to know what they’re getting into: this is less of a narrative feature and more of a scattershot proclamation from one of our more storied directors. Things won’t make sense and it’s more about the vibes and experience rather than getting answers, but for what it is, that’s good enough for me.

Critics Rating: 6/10